you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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