real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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