Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
