Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
