let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
