just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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