I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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