Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
