like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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