What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
