? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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