hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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