Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Couch. On fire.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
