When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This is the high leading the old right now
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
