wat bout pragnant strippers??
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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