Someone shit on the floor
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
