So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
