Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
