I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
