the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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