if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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