is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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