dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
honey bunches of taint.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
