Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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