he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
