he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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