Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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