Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
