I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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