Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
