oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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