seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The power of my boobs compel you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
