Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
false alarm. still invincible.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
