Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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