we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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