is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
