YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
