just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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