You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
