Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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