She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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