just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
