So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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