Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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