is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
