yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
