Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
