i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
