I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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