the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
