my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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